When I'm home sick on a Sunday...

...I watch Mormon Messages.

Today, I'm watching the interviews with our church members. They're all AWESOME! I'm loving this two especially:








Beautiful.


Have a happy Sunday!

Why I'm not worried about the Book of Mormon musical

Yes, I've seen the bantering and contention all over facebook. I don't want to add to it. But I do want my voice to be heard.

As I sat in the temple the other day, I thought about the Book of Mormon musical and the twisted, offensive things it portrays. It's always sad when someone mocks the things that are sacred to me. 


But then the Church's official statement about the musical popped into my mind: "The production may attempt to entertain audiences for an evening, but the Book of Mormon as a volume of scripture will change people's lives forever by bringing them closer to Christ." 


Here's the thing: the musical has no real power. It may capture national attention, win 9 Tony Awards, and give some people fleeting wealth and satisfaction, but in five years, it's not going to matter. This musical does not have the power to change lives, soften hearts, and bring people to Christ - but the book does. 


The Book of Mormon is still important 180 years after its first publication and over 2,000 years after it was written. Do you think that this vulgar, frivolous musical will ever have an influence like that?


The Book of Mormon is powerful because it is true. It has changed my life, and the lives of millions of others. It is the word of God. Nothing can change that. Nothing can lessen its influence - not even some silly Broadway musical. 


I'm reminded of the words of John Jacques: 

Though the heavens depart and the earth's fountains burst,
Truth, the sum of existence, will weather the worst,
Eternal, unchanged, evermore.

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep, God is not dead, nor doth He sleep!

Last night I was studying for my Byzantine Art final (with sweet Brandon by my side) when I realized that I was not prepared for two of my five essay questions. I have attended every class and taken notes, and I know I've heard the professor mention these topics, but I don't understand them clearly or feel that I can write an essay about them. And our textbook doesn't really explain them either. I got really frustrated and discouraged because I felt that my best effort would not be good enough.


My wonderful husband-to-be took me in his arms and just let me cry out my frustration. Then we watched these Mormon Messages videos-

PS- The bell player at 3 seconds in? That's my future brother-in-law!

- and I discovered something wonderful. This test won't really matter a year, a month, or even a week from now, but I have what matters most. I have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life and a testimony of its truthfulness. I have an absolutely incredible fiancé who truly knows how to comfort those in need of comfort, who treats me like a princess, who stuns me with his goodness every day, and who helps me be my best self. I have wonderfully supportive family and friends who love me unconditionally. And most of all, I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that they love me perfectly, no matter what grade I get on this exam. I know that they accept all that I can offer with open arms and loving hearts. I know that through them, I can receive redemption from my sins, eternal life, and a fullness of joy. I have what matters most - and therefore, I have great reason to rejoice. 

I wish all of you good luck on your finals and a very merry Christmas. Don't forget what matters most and how very much your Heavenly Father loves you. 

 

Take me higher

Photo by John H. Maw

I started fall semester last week, and with it an intermediate contemporary dance class. I was rather intimidated on the first day. It seemed that all of my classmates were Music-Dance-Theater majors and lifelong dancers looked flawless and moved beautifully. That's not who I am. I just dance for fun. But with all this talent around me, I wondered, would the semester be fun?

"We are not going to compare or criticize ourselves," our instructor declared. "We are all artists and beautiful children of God. We each have a story to tell. And the moment we look in the mirror and start thinking negatively about ourselves or others, we prevent our message from being shared. We are NOT going to let that happen."

But when we really got dancing on the second day of class, I did allow that to happen. With every movement, I felt like I was falling behind the other dancers. When they performed, they seemed to glide across the floor with the grace of swans. I felt like all I could do was flail my arms and legs like a beetle stuck on its back, trying in vain to roll over, wishing in vain to dance as beautifully as my swan classmates. And of course there were others in the class who, like me, didn't pick up the moves as quickly or gracefully, but in the midst of my pity-party I did not notice. All I could think of was how horrible I was, how I could never be a real dancer, that I should probably drop the class and stick with beginning dance classes for the rest of my college career.

Friday I came back to class, still discouraged. It didn't take long for me to start criticizing myself again, but then my teacher's wise words popped into my mind: "We are all artists and beautiful children of God. We each have a story to tell." I decided that I would make this a private battle, that I would stop comparing myself to others and focus on my own progression. Sure, I could drop the class and stay where I was comfortable, but how would I be able to grow? How would I learn to tell my story if I stopped here? 

That decision has made all the difference.

(It's funny how we become so much freer once we finally let go and forget ourselves.)

Why do I dance? Not to look better than others, or to even look good at all. I dance to share the story of how Jesus Christ's Atonement has transformed me, and how it continues to change me each day. It is the same reason why I write, why I sing, why I serve, why I live - to testify of my Savior and invite others to come unto Him.

We're learning a combination to the song "Higher" by Cindy Morgan. As I do the spins and arabesques, I wobble, I forget the combination, I am imperfect. But that is part of my story. None of us can walk through this life without stumbling and falling, but what matters is that we look to the Redeemer to help us get back up and continue on the journey. 

Each day that I dance, I learn that Jesus Christ truly does take me higher than I could ever reach on my own.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” 

-Winston Churchill

An apple tree for an elm tree.

Image found here.

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"Betsy didn't answer. It was strange, she thought, how things worked out. Something was given to you but something was taken away. An apple tree for an elm tree. A raise, but you lost the chance to do what you really wanted to do." 

-Maud Hart Lovelace, "Betsy's Wedding"

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I've been working at Jamba Juice for almost two years now, and I absolutely love it. Everyone who works there is amazing. I have met my best friends there and even my roommate for the fall. Every time I go to work it's a party, plus I feel loved and appreciated and uplifted. The people I work with are true disciples who help me come closer to Christ.

On Thursday, my manager pulled me aside and told me they wanted to promote me. He said they are grateful for all that I do and that they think I would do a great job as a trainer and a team lead. For now I'd just get more hours, but soon I would get a raise as well. Naturally, I was thrilled! I had been hoping for this but had no idea that it would come so soon.

Friday afternoon, not even 24 hours later, I got an email from the art history department. They offered me a position as a teaching assistant in the fall. Logically, it made more sense to take the TA position, which pays better and will give me more experience in my field and with the professors in department - but it just didn't feel right. When I was offered the promotion at Jamba, my heart was full of joy and excitement for this opportunity. Now I only felt doubt, anxiety and fear. 

I had no idea what I should do - so I cast my burden upon the Lord.

I told the Lord that I trusted Him, that I would be willing to walk into the darkness if that was His will. I've done it before, and was blessed so much for it. I know that as I follow God's will now, I will be blessed again. He can see so much better than I can. 

Heavenly Father has promised that whoever asks of Him shall receive an answer. And I certainly did.

I realized that my initial reactions were an evidence in and of themselves. The fruit of the Spirit is the giddy joy and sense of accomplishment I felt when offered the promotion at my current job. Doubt and fear only come from the adversary, and those are the only feelings I felt when I was offered the TA position came up. I’m not sure why the Lord wants me to stay at Jamba, but I know without a doubt that that is His plan for me. And I know that I must follow. 

My mom says this must be a fulfillment of the promise in Malachi 3:10, that if we pay our tithing, “I will open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” And I would have to agree. I do not have room to receive all that the Lord is offering me!

I love my job and the people there, and I can't wait for this new adventure. Now the challenge is to have faith in God and the answer He has given me. 

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"Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.

For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.
. . .

. . . If any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. . . .

. . . We are not of them who draw back unto perdition. [Hebrews 10:35–36, 38–39; emphasis added]

"In LDS talk that is to say, 'Sure it is tough--before you join the Church, while you are trying to join, and after you have joined.' That is the way it has always been, Paul said, but don't 'draw back,' he warned. Don't panic and retreat. Don't lose your confidence. Don't forget how you once felt. Don't distrust the experience you had. That tenacity is what saved Moses when the adversary confronted him, and it is what will save you." 
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence"

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Elm trees are good, but I believe that my apple tree will be even sweeter.

However Long and Hard the Road.

A bomb was dropped on me yesterday. A bomb that shattered my idyllic perception of the world and my trust in so many things that had once seemed certain. It left me feeling frightened, disoriented, doubtful, and so very, very alone.

I do know that one thing in this world is "eternal, unchanged evermore," and that is the reality that Heavenly Father lives and loves me, and that His Gospel is true.

I know now better than ever that is absolutely vital to cling to the iron rod. There are more pitfalls and distractions in this world than ever before, and if we are not fully focused and exactly obedient, the adversary will take us down. We cannot afford to fall. There is too much at stake.

And while I am grateful for that lesson, my head has been spinning with all kinds of doubts and fears. Will I be able to make it? Am I strong enough to resist the temptations of the adversary? What about the ones I love? What about my future family? Do I have what it takes to effectively teach my children to keep the commandments? Is there any way for me to be safe?

Last night, my visiting teachers came over. (They are so wonderful!) While we were chatting before the lesson, a guy from our ward came by talked with us through the window. "How are you doing?" asked McKenzie, one of my visiting teachers. "We haven't seen you since they changed the FHE groups."

"Oh yeah," he replied. "Since they changed them I don't really go any more." 

"Why not?" 

"I'm just so busy right now. When I'm older and it's more important, I'll do it then." 

"You are always going to be busy, and isn't FHE important now as much as ever?" she asked with love and concern in her voice. 

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he said, and the conversation moved forward. I don't know if that young man thought more about it, but I sure did, and we returned to that concept in the visiting teaching lesson.

"It's just like I was saying earlier," McKenzie continued, "this is such a critical time in our lives. This is the time when we are making habits that we will have throughout our lives." And then it hit me. If I work right now to establish good habits of daily prayer and scripture study, they will become a part of who I am. 

In a world so filled with dangers and distractions, it is more important than ever to stay focused on living the Gospel. If we don't put all of our effort into maintaining our relationship with the Lord and being worthy for the companionship of His Spirit, we will fall. We cannot succeed without God. We have to be doing the simple things each day, or our adversary will succeed. 

But if we are constantly striving to have the guidance of the Lord, if we decide to never give up and never give in, if we remain comitted to doing the small and simple things, we will have the protection of the Lord. And we will succeed. 

"It requires a conscious effort to diminish distractions, but having the Spirit of revelation makes it possible to prevail over opposition and persist in faith through difficult days and essential routine tasks," Sister Julie B. Beck promises. "Personal revelation gives us the understanding of what to do every day to increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek those who need our help. Because personal revelation is a constantly renewable source of strength, it is possible to feel bathed in help even during turbulent times." Yes, it is possible to stay strong and be safe, even in this wicked, wicked world.

I find comfort in the words of Winston Churchill to the British Parliament in May of 1940, another time when there was much fear for the future and very little to have faith in. Somehow in the midst of such darkness, Churchill found hope and extended it to his fellow men, not just in his time but for decades to come.

We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our policy? I will say: It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us; to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark and lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: victory; victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival....But I take up my task with buoyancy and hope. I feel sure that our cause will not be suffered to fail among men. At this time I feel entitled to claim the aid of all, and I say, "Come then, let us go forward together with our united strength."

  

I too, "take up my task with buoyancy and hope." I know that the Lord is with me, with all of us in our fight to do what is right. I know that He lives and loves us. I know that He will never forsake us. I know that He has provided a way to have peace and happiness in every season of our lives, and that is in the teachings of His Gospel. And I know through the sweet reassurance of the Spirit that in time, everything will be OK.

Shall we not go on in so great a cause?

"Graven upon the palms of my hands."

"Prince of Peace" by Liz Lemon Swindle

I wonder if Jesus Christ ever questioned His worth, His mission, His importance. Did He ever have days of drudgery when nothing seemed to go right? I think He must have, for the scriptures say that He suffered "the pains of every living creature (see 2 Nephi 9:21).


We focus so much on the big things that the Savior did, and rightfully so, but I think one of His most remarkable attributes is His diligence and perseverance. As men and women, we are weak when our patience is tested. We are so quick to forget the long term rewards when our work starts to get difficult. But Christ? He was perfect. He was divine. He never gave up hope, never gave up faith, and never stopped working.  


What kept Him going at those times when it was hardest? When He was scourged and spit upon, when He was unfairly tried and betrayed by His friends, when He was hanging on the cross and not even His Father would answer Him, what kept Him from giving up on that terrible, painful journey?


And then the words of Isaiah pop into my mind. "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands." He did it for you and me. 


I like to imagine that in the darkest hours of His life, when Jesus may have wanted to put an end to it all, He pictured all of us who would need His Atonement so desperately. Perhaps He thought about all of our pains that He had just experienced, and decided that He didn't want anyone else to have to endure it alone. 


How glad I am that He did not give up. For when my journey grows tiresome and my cross is hard to bear and I feel alone and worthless, I remember Him who has graven me upon the palms of His hands. If He did not give up on me then, surely He will not give up on me now. 


And I must not give up on myself, however long and hard the road may be. 


"It is ordained that we come to know our worth as children of God without something as dramatic as a leap from the pinnacle of the temple. All but a prophetic few must go about God's work in very quiet, very unspectacular ways. And as you labor to know him, and to know that he knows you; as you invest your time--and your convenience--in quiet, unassuming service, you will indeed find that "he shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up" (Matthew 4:6). It may not come quickly. It probably won't come quickly, but there is purpose in the time it takes. Cherish your spiritual burdens because God will converse with you through them and will use you to do his work if you carry them well." -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "The Inconvenient Messiah"

The Doctrine of the Family

Photo by David C. Moore

The family is not an accident of mortality. It existed as an organizational unit in the heavens before the world was formed; historically, it started on earth with Adam and Eve, as recorded in Genesis. Adam and Eve were married and sealed for time and all eternity by

the Lord, and as a result their family will exist eternally. 

-Elder Robert D. Hales

God put us in families for a reason. 


As a member of a family, one learns how to serve one another and thus become like God. We learn how to love fully and selflessly, how to seek pardon when we are wrong, how to forgive others who have wronged us, how to look past faults and love unconditionally. Our family members can be pillars of strength, filling our gaps with their gifts and encouraging us to be better with their good examples. They are minister to us day in and day out. They shape the people we are the the people we hope to become. 


The family is essential the Heavenly Father's Plan of Happiness. Parents have the opportunity to teach their families to love and serve one another. And when our family relationships are founded on these teachings of Jesus Christ, the family is the source of a fullness of joy. 

Many things in this world bring pleasure, but only a precious few bring deep, lasting joy. (Elder Neal A. Maxwell discusses this difference in detail in his talk, "Brim With Joy.") I have a wonderful, happy, fulfilling life - but I don't feel complete until I am with the people that I love most in this world. My heart is whole and my joy is full when I am basking in the love of my family. 


Heavenly Father feels the same way. He has told us that His work and His glory is to bring His children home to Him. (See Moses 1:39.) Why would the most powerful, omniscient being in the universe choose to focus all of His efforts on guiding His children to eternal life? Because God too feels a fullness of joy when He is surrounded by the love and righteousness of His children.  


These are my thoughts on the family; Sister Julie B. Beck outlines everything much more clearly in her talk "Teaching the Doctrine of the Family." Please take the time to read it, for it will change your perspective on family forever. 


This generation will be called upon to defend the doctrine of the family as never before in the history of the world. If they don’t know it, they can’t defend it. They need to understand
temples and priesthood. If you don’t know that they are meant to be fathers and mothers, then they won’t know that they are meant to be fathers and mothers. Your effort will be wasted.  -Sister Julie B. Beck


I have seen divinity in my family. They are constantly teaching me how to become more like Christ, and forgiving me when I fall short. They are full of love and laughter, sunshine and selflessness, teaching and testimony. They give me hope when everything else seems to fail. And when you look at this -

- can you see why they bring me a fullness of joy?

The beauty of Heavenly Father's plan is that each of us has an opportunity to have an eternal family. If we rely on the Lord, He will teach us how to create loving relationships with the families we already have and the families we may have in the future. God is just and will not deny any worthy person of their righteous dreams. 

And my dream is to continue growing with this amazing group of people for time and all eternity. 

More than the World

Sometimes my heart breaks when I look around and see that some people get to live all my dreams of going to Europe and being an EFY Counselor and doing all sorts of other fabulous things.

But then, I look at this

and remember that I am right where I need to be, that I have what matters most, and that I wouldn't change anything. My family is more important than any of those other things, and I have been blessed with the opportunity to strengthen my relationships with them this Spring.

My family means more than the world to me. I wouldn't trade them for anything. And you know what? I haven't.

People have told me how to be happy

But I find that their remedies are empty

These are my pearls, God's treasures unfurled

Mean more to this girl, More than the world

To me.

-Mindy Gledhill

Don't take your family for granted. Whether it is big or small, rich or poor, it is a precious gift from God. We can spend our lives wishing for something else, or we can put our hearts and souls into what Heavenly Father has handed us. It will not be easy, but if you follow the Lord's counsel in loving and strengthening your family, you will find joy beyond compare.

God Tends the Broken Branches of This Tree

Photo by Perspective Images

Well, I asked God for an opportunity to grow, and He gave me one right away. But I forgot that growing can be so painful.

Someone I trusted, admired and cared about has hurt me and rejected me. I thought our relationship was better than they thought it was. I feel embarrassed, misled and just plain hurt.

At first, that pain manifested itself as anger. I wanted to march right over to this person and punch them in the face. But remember the challenge? This week I am trying to do everything with the Spirit of the Lord, and the spirit of contention is of the devil (see 3 Nephi 11:29). I knew that if I needed the Spirit of the Lord to handle this situation in the way that God would have me do it.

And now, I can add my testimony to Alma's that the Spirit of the Lord did not fail me.

I went to God and asked Him soften my heart. I asked Him for the strength to get through this, for eyes to see the blessings amidst the hardships, for a new heart that would be able to forgive this person who has hurt me.

And He provided.

From Corrie Ten Boom, I have learned that God can help us forgive in the most terrible of circumstances. When she was rejected by the young man she loved, her father gave her this beautiful counsel.

Do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or, Corrie, we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.

God loves Karel - even more than you do - and if you ask Him, He will give you His love for this man, a love that nothing can prevent, nothing destroy. Whenever we cannot love in the old, human way, Corrie, God can give us the perfect way.

Like Corrie, I am asking God to help me love the person who has hurt me in God's perfect way. I know that God can replace my bitter, wounded heart with a heart full of Christlike love. I can feel the process starting. I can feel God's remarkable peace in my soul. It is beautiful.

Please don't think that I have fully healed yet. Countless times today I have felt my pulse start racing and my face get hot as my thoughts turn back to how I have been hurt. But then I catch myself, bow my head, and plead for God's grace once more. Sometimes it feels like I can only find peace for 10 minutes before my mind returns to the negative.

But I always find peace. No matter how many times I ask for help, my Heavenly Father always sends it.

He's helped me to understand that this person wasn't intentionally trying to hurt me, that they were trying to deal with the situation in the best way they knew how. It is an opportunity for both of us to grow. God has helped me to see into the heart of this person, and to recognize that I too made mistakes and own a part of this problem. God has helped me overcome the blindness of anger and see things as they really are.

It amazes me that He is right by my side during all of this. Most people have problems that are so much bigger than this little struggle of mine, and God has a whole universe of them to deal with! But He is my Heavenly Father, and I am His child. He comes to me whenever I call, even though I am so undeserving. His mercy overwhelms me.

This experience has also taught me about the importance of forgiveness. I've felt anger over this relatively small wound, and it makes me realize how angry others feel when they are faced with larger hurts like violence, abuse and killing. It is no wonder that our world is so full of hatred and war. The natural man in us wants to stay angry, hold grudges and get revenge. I am so grateful for the commandment to forgive and for a God who helps me do so. Without His divine assistance, I would not be able to forgive; bitterness and resentment would take over my life and prevent me from becoming the woman wants me to be.

It is because of Christ that I am able to find hope and joy in the midst of this trial. Even though my feelings are still hurt, I have found peace and so many reasons to rejoice. I have so many people who love me and some true friends who have stood by me through thick and thin. I have a testimony that "it is not the work of God that is frustrated, but the work of men," and that this challenge is truly part of God's plan for me. I know that Jesus Christ died so that I might be able to repent of my mistakes and use this experience to grow. I have faith that He will help change my heart so that someday I will be able to embrace this person and sincerely thank them for helping me become more like God. And most of all, I have a Heavenly Father who loves me perfectly, who never leaves me comfortless, who is turning my pain into a tutorial to teach me of His wondrous ways.

And so it is that I am able to smile through my tears and truly sing praises to the Lord.

And God tends the broken branches of this tree

He keeps His eye on every tiny leaf

And their love is a circle in ways that only God can see

As He tends the broken branches of this family tree

-Cherie Call

Oh Say, What is Truth?

Images found here and here.

Recently I found out that someone dear to me has rejected the Church. I thought they were a strong, believing member, but I discovered that this is not so. I am not completely surprised because they have a rough home life and many family members who have rejected the Gospel as well. But somehow I thought that this person was different. I thought that they knew the eternal significance of staying close to God. But they have forgotten.

I was heartbroken.

I know that Jesus Christ can help us through all of the struggles and pains in our lives - but only if we let Him. This person has so many hardships and has turned away from the only source of true peace. I pray that soeday when they hit rock bottom, they will remember that Jesus is always there.

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I had mostly forgotten about this heartache with the adventures of the weekend and the stress of finals, but today it came rushing back to me.

We were singing "Oh Say, What is Truth" in my choir class in preparation for our performance tomorrow. I love this piece and especially the poignancy of John Jacques' lyrics. We were in the last verse of the hymn -

Then say, what is truth?
'Tis the last and the first,
For the limits of time it steps o'er.
Though the heavens depart
And the earth's fountains burst,

- when this line hit me right in the face.

Truth, the sum of existence,

Will weather the worst,

Eternal, unchanged, evermore.

And I sobbed.

This person's face flashed in my mind. And all my other loved ones who have tasted the sweetness of the Gospel and forgotten it. No matter what storms these people will face, no matter how far they stray, no matter what decisions and false accusations they make, Truth will not be altered. The Gospel will still be true. Jesus Christ will still live and will still be their Savior. And if they decide to return to Him, He will always be there with open arms to heal them, forgive them, accept them.

No one's decisions can alter these truths or my testimony of them. As Joseph Smith wrote, "I know it, and I cannot deny it."

Eternal. Unchanged. Evermore!

Everyday Heroes

I have discovered that life is not a series of great heroic acts. Life at its best is a matter of consistent goodness and decency...I have observed that it is not the geniuses that make the difference in this world. I have observed that the work of this world is done largely by men and women of ordinary talent who have worked in an extraordinary manner. -Gordon B. Hinckley

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Today I want to write about my heroes. These people are simple, accomplishing amazing things just by living good, consistent, selfless lives. They do not realize their influence. These are the people who inspire me to be my best self, and I hope they inspire you too.

1. Mom

My mom is my best friend. I call her all the time to talk about my struggles, my funnies, and my lovelies. She makes me laugh every day. She makes me smile every day. She drops what she is doing every day to talk me through my difficulties. Of course she is not perfect, but she puts her whole heart and soul into being the best she can be. She has an amazing gift to connect with people. I am amazed at her ability to recognize those who are silently struggling and think up ways to serve them without making them feel like a "service project." When I grow up, I want to be everything that she is.

2. Dad

I just wrote a post all about my dad a couple weeks ago, but I had to include him in this one as well. He is the hardest working man I know. He has given up everything he has to support our family and serve the Lord. He is so smart, so talented, so wise, and He has consecrated all of that to the Lord. He may be quiet, but he has a strong testimony of the gospel and guides our family in living it. I couldn't have asked for a better father.

3. James

My brother is ridiculously awesome. Ridiculously. He makes up his own songs on the piano and while he's doing his homework. He takes scraps of paper and turns them into art. He makes me laugh every day with his witty, sassy comments. He's made up his own breakdancing moves from the time he was 5 years old. He loves the gospel. He is selfless and kind to those who are unkind to him. He is the definition of love. He has made our family complete.

4. Brian

I could talk about Brian for ages. He is funny, smart, thoughtful, selfless, always willing to serve and has an amazing gift to make other people feel comfortable. He always sees the best in me and helps me to feel my Heavenly Father's love. He's currently serving a mission in Ukraine and has thrown himself into the work. He LOVES to serve and he loves the Lord. He has shown time and again that he is willing to give his whole soul over to the Lord. And as he has done that, he has been transformed into an even amazing young man. I am so grateful to have him as my best friend.

4. Courtney

Courtney is my soul sister. We are alike in so many ways, from being the oldest children to singing in choir to loving family history! I first noticed her because she is incredibly friendly and kind to everyone she meets; when it comes to relationships, she is fearless. That is something I want to develop in myself, and I look to her example so often in that area. I see her as the definition of charity, and the way she lives her life testifies of Christ. She understands my heart and is willing to drop everything to serve me. I am grateful for her example and her friendship!

6. Marshall

Marshall is brilliant, though he would never say so himself. I am astounded by all the things he knows how to do, and even more astounded that he can do so many of those things with great skill! He is bursting at the seams with creativity and encourages me to think about things of eternity. Whenever I talk to him, he uplifts me and inspires me to be a better scriptorian and a more committed Latter-day Saint. He is a wealth of knowledge and is passionate about using that knowledge to serve other people. He is going to do amazing things in this world - oh wait, he already is.

7. Hillary

Hillary is a constant in my life. We first met doing sound for Christian Youth Theater, where she patiently taught me all the duties of the sound board, and she has been patiently teaching me ever since. She is truly a woman of God, and even though that means she has to stand alone sometimes, she is willing to make that sacrifice for Him. Her faith and charity are inspiring. And even though I don't get to see her very often, I know that whenever we do get together again, we will pick up right where we left off. I am grateful to have a friendship with her that will last throughout the eternities.

8. David

David is another constant in my life. He is always there when I need someone to talk to, and has helped me through so many tough times. He always sees my strengths and reminds of them, for which I am grateful because this critical world causes me to forget. I only wish that he could use that gift on himself and recognize how wonderful he is! He is a talented ballroom dancer, a great conversationalist, a hard worker, a dedicated servant of the Lord, and a selfless, loyal friend.

9. Breanna

Breanna is one of my favorite people to work with. She is always willing to do the tasks that no one else wants to do. Plus, she is beautiful, fun, and incredibly loving. She always sees the best in other people and I have NEVER heard her make a negative remark. She helps me to recognize strengths in others and in myself. She loves Disney Princesses, but I think that she is more amazing than any character put on the screen.

10. Joshua
Oh, Joshua. He's tall, dark and handsome. He sings in BYU Men's Chorus. He's Dutch. He's hilarious. He is thoughtful. He has an amazing family. He always makes me feel loved and valued. He is hard working, yet fun-loving. He brings games into the workplace, making it a joy to be there. He brings joy wherever he goes. He radiates the Light of Christ.

And of course, my most important hero, Jesus Christ.

All of the people I have listed above have blessed me because they have taught me about Jesus Christ through their words and deeds. They are evidence of the Savior's love for me.

But it is through Christ alone that I am healed.

He has borne my griefs and carried my sorrows. When words fail and no one else can comfort me, He speaks peace to my soul. He has atoned for me sins and through His grace I will be able to be made perfect. He helps me through my struggles and forgives even though I make so many mistakes. I am astounded by His patience with such a slow and stubborn creature such as me. He has given my family power to be together forever. He has shown me the way to find true happiness in this life and the next. He helps me to progress and fulfill the measure of my creation.

Without my Redeemer I am nothing. But through the cleansing and enabling power of His atonement, He is shaping me into something wonderful.

And for that, I rejoice.

Pipe Cleaners and Shining Nights

Last night I was feeling very foolish and frustrated with my weaknesses. My wise mother gave me some good advice. "You know how James [my little brother] likes to make you little presents out of pipe cleaners?" she asked me. "To others they don't mean much, but they are precious to you because he has put his whole heart and the best of his ability into them.


"Sometimes all we can do is make a pipe cleaner creation. It is small and misshapen, not something that the world values. But to Heavenly Father it is precious, and it is enough."


He knows that in time my pipe cleaner creations will become great works of art. I just have to be patient with my pipe cleaner projects as well.

Last night I also listened to one of my favorite old songs, "Sure on this Shining Night" by Morten Lauridsen with lyrics by James Agee. I hadn't heard it for a while and was struck once again by the beauty of the music and the lyrics.

Sure on this shining night
Of star made shadows round,
Kindness must watch for me
This side the ground.

The late year lies down the north.
All is healed, all is health.
High summer holds the earth.
Hearts all whole.
Sure on this shining night I weep for wonder wand'ring far
alone
Of shadows on the stars.



Jesus Christ is my Savior. He "kindly watches" for me. He softens my heart until is "all whole" and "all is healed." He is so patient with me and my meager pipe cleaner creations. His gentleness and forgiveness make me continually "weep for wonder."


And so, on a shining January night, I was sure once more. Sure of the transforming power of the Atonement. Sure of my ability to create beautiful things in the Lord's time and with His help. And sure of His personal love for me.


May we all be "sure on this shining night" of those beautiful truths.

My Eternal Family

My little brother had an assignment which consisted of finishing sentences. They were pretty awesome, such as:

I wish I could change...the end of Harry Potter.
When I'm alone, I...sing songs of Michael Jackson.
When I'm going to bed I think about...Harry Potter.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me was...all my friends and family moved away. But not on the same day.
Three things people describe me as are...an awesome dude, rad, and Christlike.

But here's the best one.

The best day of my life was...when I learned that my family is eternal.

Not going to Disneyland or Christmas or a birthday, but when he learned that his family can be together forever. He is the most amazing little boy that I know. He teaches me so much. I love him with all my heart.

But this is the part that made me cry.

After this assignment, my mom asked my brother where he learned this beautiful truth. And he said that he learned it from me. One day he was crying because he didn't want me go away to school. To help him feel better, I told him that because Mom and Dad were sealed in the temple, our family can be together forever. If we try our very best to be good, we can someday all be together and never have to miss anyone. We can have a fullness of joy.

I didn't know if he understood that abstract concept, or if it would be able to comfort him. But know I know that it has.

Some days it gets really hard, and I want to run home to be encircled by the arms that always love me, to see this sweet little face.

But I know that my place is here in snowy Utah, to learn "big girl things" and to grow up.

But I also know that my family can be together forever. Oh, how grateful I am for that!

And this is what we'll be doing for eternity.