Why I'm Getting Married in the Temple: The Doctrine of Eternal Marriage

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It is difficult for those outside the Mormon faith to understand our marriage customs - why we are so anxious to get married and start our families, why our marriage ceremony takes place inside a temple that only authorized members of the Church may enter. I hope to help explain why we do these things and share the beautiful truths I have learned about the covenant of marriage. 


The temple is a place where very special, sacred ordinances take place. In order to enter, one must be willing to make very big promises, commitments to change one's lifestyle and fully dedicate oneself to the Lord. The temple is not a secret - we want everyone to attend, but we do not want anyone to promise to keep these big commitments unless they are truly ready to consecrate themselves to God. 


The most important and sacred of these promises is the marriage covenant. We believe that this ordinance is necessary to enter into the highest degree of glory in the Celestial Kingdom. Most people view marriage as a contract - an agreement between two or more parties for the doing or not doing of something specified. 
Marriages that take place in the temple are covenants, or promises between the individuals and God. The terms are specified by Heavenly Father, and if we keep our commitments, He has promised to pour out blessings upon us. This means that when challenges arise, we cannot run away because we do not like the contract any more, but we are accountable to keep our promises to God and our spouse. One of the blessings promised in the marriage covenant is being sealed to our spouses and our children for time and all eternity. This means that death is not the end of family life, but that our relationships can continue forever.

LDS marriage is very focused on the family. We believe that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth still applies, and when we enter into the sacred marriage covenant we commit to bear children and raise families unto the Lord. We believe that having children is a sacred privilege, and that family relationships teach us how to become more like our Savior, Jesus Christ. We believe that families are essential to God's plan, and that they have the potential to bring us a fullness of joy. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints provides us not only with the ordinances that allow our families to be together forever, but teaches how to treat each other so that we actually want to spend eternity together. (The Family: A Proclamation to the World goes into more detail about this.)


We believe that temple ordinances, especially the temple sealing, are necessary for exaltation. Through the ratification of sacred ordinances and the sanctification of keeping our covenants with God, we can someday be perfected through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and live with Heavenly Father again, enjoying all the blessings He has. 


Can you see now why I have always dreamed of getting married in the temple? The promise of being sealed to the man I love the most for time and all eternity, of having our future children sealed to us as well, of having God directly involved in our marriage, of someday being able to return home to Him and receive all of the joy and goodness that He has - these promises are so, so beautiful. I still feel like I can barely comprehend them, and I am so amazed that Heavenly Father would offer such blessings to me. 


One of my friends remarked that my fiancé and I seem to have reached "fairy-tale levels of happiness," and I would have to agree. Our parents, church leaders, and prophets have taught us how to serve and love one another, and on Friday we will enter the Holy Temple and be sealed to one another forever and ever. The best part is that because we are committing to love one another as perfectly and unselfishly as God loves us, the joy and love that we feel now will continually grow through all eternity. There is nothing greater than knowing that as wonderful as it is right now, the best is still yet to be.  

"Some think of happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills; but true marriage is based on a happiness which is more than that, one which comes from giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing, and selflessness." - President Spencer W. Kimball


“The whole subject of the marriage relation is not in my reach, nor in any other man’s reach on this earth. It is without beginning of days or end of years; it is a hard matter to reach. We can tell some things with regard to it; it lays the foundation for worlds, for angels, and for the Gods; for intelligent beings to be crowned with glory, immortality, and eternal lives. In fact, it is the thread which runs from the beginning to the end of the holy Gospel of Salvation—of the Gospel of the Son of God; it is from eternity to eternity.” -Brigham Young

How grateful I am to be able to embark on this wonderful journey with a wonderful man who loves me so sweetly and is my very best friend - and how even more grateful I am for my Savior, Jesus Christ, who has made this joy possible.

Know who you are.

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"Those who drive steamrollers should know who they are," my choir director told us a month ago at the beginning of rehearsal. "But really, every one of us drives a steamroller. You may not have a powerful influence in my life, but what about your roommate's life, or your little brother's life, or your best friend's life? Remember that you drive a steamroller."

Some days, I fervently wish that I did not drive a steamroller. Sometimes I am afraid of my influence and of the consequences of my actions. Sometimes I feel that which ever direction I turn I am going to crumple someone's arm or leg or foot, and that whatever decision I make, I will always hurt or frustrate someone who has trusted me. Life is so painful and so messy that I go crazy wishing it could be another way.

But to ask God to give me a bicycle instead of a steamroller would be asking Him to make me something less than what He has designed me to be, and to ask for an easier life would be asking Him  to change His eternal plan of happiness.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf recently counseled us to "trust your Heavenly Father. Trust Him enough to follow His plan."   

All I can do is try my best and ask the Lord to help me embrace the role He has given me as a steamroller operator.

I know He will help me learn this in time, for His love does miraculous, beautiful, transforming things. 

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"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for." -Elder Claudio R.M. Costa

Not in Vain

During the break I reached out to my struggling friend and tried, once again, to get her to return to some church activities activities. I never saw her over the break and felt that I had failed. I was so worried about her because I had heard that she has been having an awful time due to her break up with her fiancé. But Sunday I was blessed to some fruits of my labors. My friend texted me saying that she was going to go to the singles ward and wondered if I would come along. I wished so badly that I could have gone with her, but it wasn't meant to be. This friend's mom told my mom that I have been a big blessing to my friend; that each time I contacted her or dropped off a little gift she would cry in gratitude. I learned that even though my efforts didn’t seem to be doing much, they let this friend know that she is always loved and that I am always there for her, that when she was ready, I would be there to welcome her with open arms. I hope she can see the similitude of the Savior’s love for her. I hope she can know that since I love her no matter how she responds, Jesus Christ’s love is even greater and more healing. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father let me see how some small actions were able to help another person. I can’t wait to more completely give myself to Him and to be able to share my testimony of Christ in this way.

Disappointments and Tender Mercies

What a crazy day it has been! I flew home today from my Thanksgiving visit with my family, and had many complications with the lovely air travel systems. I ended up missing my connecting flight from Vegas to Salt Lake and was stuck in the Vegas airport for a couple hours. Being surrounded by slot machines and overly well dressed people was not exactly my favorite way to spend a Sunday afternoon. But I was able to find the Lord's hand in all of this, and learned a valuable lesson from the experience.

First of all, it cost much less to get another flight than I had expected. Second of all, I was able to get a ride home from a good friend rather than having to pay for the shuttle. And on top of that, on the drive home she and I had a really good talk, one that we have needed to have for quite some time. I don't think we would have had that if I hadn't had been late for my flight and had her pick me up. It was worth the $20 extra dollars I had to pay.


And when we touched down in Salt Lake, I looked out the window and got to see my beloved Wasatch Mountains. In the midst of a crazy, stressful day, the Lord still showed me that He cares about me. He helped me to find beauty in the midst of an ugly situation. He truly does know what is best for me, even when it is rather messy.

"For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee."
Isaiah 54:10