sometimes I feel guilty

when I spend the day cleaning my room, making phone calls, prepping for the wedding, reading, attempting to cook, chatting online with my sweetie, getting lost in the etsy vortex,

and never quite make it to being academically productive.

but at the same time

another part of my feels completely and blissfully

accomplished, balanced, and at peace.

I am trying to retrain my mind

to remember that happiness doesn't come from strict adherence to deadlines,

that self-worth doesn't lie in a long list of worldy accomplishments,

but true joy comes in living.

and sometimes, 

just breathing

is enough.

happiness

is easing into my chair at the end of a long, hard day
to read posts on my favorite website.
it's breathing out a long sigh,
and hearing my honey sneak up behind me
to gently place a bowl of my favorite pasta on the desk.
but mostly
it's the smile that creeps across my face
when I realize that he gave me the bowl that's my favorite color
just because he knew I would like it.

Find your own here.

happiness
is watching the snow gently fall
with a cup of peppermint hot chocolate
and gentle piano music in the background.
it's soaking in the beautiful stillness of winter
and learning to be still myself.

Found here.

happiness
is the moment
after I've cried out to the Lord,
when He encircles me in His arms
and lets me know
that I am unconditionally,
irrevocably,
inescapably,
perfectly,
and eternally loved.


happiness 
is the object and design of our existence; 
and will be the end thereof, 
if we pursue the path that leads to it; 
and this path is virtue, 
uprightness, 
faithfulness, 
holiness, 
and keeping all the commandments of God.
- Joseph Smith

Words to Heal my Heart Today

"It's the little household crises that get to me. This time, my toddler’s favorite blanket was lost. In an effort to discourage her thumb-sucking, I’d hidden it. Bedtime had come and I couldn’t find the fuzzy pink thing. The memory lapses that come as a fringe benefit of my chronic illness had me opening kitchen cupboards and drawers as my daughter cried, 'Find it now, Mommy.' Her demand was a perfect parallel to my petitions to God: 'Fix me now, please.' Like my toddler, I sometimes want to throw myself on the floor and demand instant healing. I struggle to understand why it hasn’t come." 
-Rebecca Rice Birkin, "Instant Healing - Just Add Patience"


O thou that art the light of the minds that know thee,

the life of the souls that love thee,

and the strength of the wills that serve thee:

help us to know thee that truly love thee, 

and so to love thee that we might fully serve thee,

whom to serve is perfect freedom, 

Amen.

-St. Augustine of Hippo

"But God sees the truth, and waits." 

- Jes S. Curtis

Guess what's finally in the mail?

These little beauties. 

My favorite part is that my fiancé designed them himself. Who would've thought that a computer scientist and an art historian would make such a good match? We have fun discussions about technology, art, and all the social implications - plus his ability to fix my gadgets is pretty darn attractive. I consider myself a very lucky girl. 


Look for yours in the mail very soon!

I am grateful

that at the end of the day

when life is just too overwhelming

I can simply ask God 

to help me with all of the things that I need

and I don't have to say them out loud

because He knows them already. 

Thanks God. 

In all things, You are good.

Monday Links!

Today, I am just feeling like there is so much good in the world I just have to share it!


*You should totally read this talk. It is full of great quotes and beautiful doctrines. It made my morning!
*This song got me through last week.
*This song will probably get me through this week. 
*Or maybe this one. (When you work 4 nights a week and only really have weekends to see your fiancé and do wedding stuff, you need some help getting through the week.)
*We are sending out wedding announcements this week! :D
*I bought $5 hot pink tennis shoes from here, and they just might be my favorite shoes. Ever.
*Only this long until I finally get to marry my best friend. (It seems so close, and yet so far)
*We bought one of these yesterday and now our apartment is finally starting to feel like a home!
*I really, really want some of these.
*This website has the reasons why I get each morning and why my life is filled with such joy. 


Have a wonderful week everyone!

Helaman 5:12

Image by Mrs. Edie.

I absolutely love this scripture. It is packed with so many powerful phrases - "rock of our Redeemer," "shafts in the whirlwind," "a sure foundation," "they cannot fall."

I love how sure and full of faith this verse is. It declares that, yes, the adversary will fight against us brutally, relentlessly, powerfully, trickily. But it also promises that if we build our foundation on the Son of God, "it shall have no power over you" and "if men build they cannot fall." Such absolutes! Such promises! Such a sure foundation!

I also love the use of the verb "build" in this verse. It implies, slowly, steadily working. It implies an ongoing process, not a destination. It implies that if we take care of the foundation, Christ will make up for our weaknesses and build the rest of the house. Oh, how I need Him to complete my house!

I have seen the powerful promises of this verse fulfilled in my own life, even in the last two weeks. When I center my life on loving and obeying the Savior, I am balanced, productive, righteous, happy, filled with the Spirit. When I grow lazy and neglect to work on building my foundation, the rest of the day I am tossed by the whirlwinds, I slip, I stumble, and I fall. But when I pull myself back up onto the rock of my Redeemer and start laying my foundation again, the winds have no power over me. I cannot fall. 

Caspar David Friedrich, "Wanderer above the Sea of Fog," 1818

How grateful I am for prophets past and present and for my Savior who is my sure foundation, the one who catches me when I fall. 

2010 Slideshow

I did one last year, and it was just so fun that I had to do it again! I love being able to capture to love, tenderness, silliness, and overwhelming happiness of our family in under 4 minutes. Technology is so great. Enjoy!

When you find you fall more in love with your fiancée every day and find yourself constantly amazed as his gentleness, his sweetness, and his goodness -


I think it's a pretty good sign.  

Thanks for making me such a lucky, happy girl. I love you. 

Happy New Year!

Holy Cow, I can't believe it's 2011 and a new semester is starting already! Moreover, I can't believe that the wedding is just 7 weeks away! There is still so much to do. 

Christmas in San Diego with Brandon and my family was so wonderful. We went puzzle crazy, baked cookies, took nice walks, did Martha Stewart crafts, had a bonfire on the beach, wore footie pajamas and watched movies every night, slept in every day, laughed and loved and tasted all of life's sweetness. It warmed my heart to see Brandon fit into my family so well, and to see them learn to love him as I do. I have never felt so blessed and overwhelmingly joyful as I did this Christmas, surrounded by all the people I love most in this world. Just look at the pictures - they say it all. 

Breakfast on Christmas morning

For Christmas, James asked for a Bieber Bowl - a bowl that you spin on your head to style
your hair like Justin Bieber. He was by far the easiest person to find a gift for!

Santa brought us head mics - so fun!

My siblings are just adorable.

My favorite picture of the trip.

Here's hoping your holidays were wonderful and that the new year brings you even more joy.