Quote by E.M. Forester
Image found here.
I'm something of a hoarder. I get anxious about losing things, letting them go. Part of me fears that the joy will never return.
I had trouble at the beginning of the semester, and I'm having trouble now that it's nearing the end.
I was terrified to move into this ward. I knew absolutely no one and felt certain that I would struggle with roommates and spend many nights in my room feeling lonely. My dad gave me a priesthood blessing that promised that I would make friends and not be lonely. I had no idea just how happy I would be here. I feel like I've just settled in, and now it's almost time to uproot and leave again.
I'm trying to remember all the good things that fall semester will bring - living closer to campus with my best friend, having my little sister in town, fun classes like modern dance and art studio, singing in University Choral, old friends returning to town, getting back into art history, Men's Chorus concerts, new opportunities, fall leaves, bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils. But the life I'm living right now is so rich and abundant that I'm having trouble doing anything but grieve.
I ran across this video yesterday that seemed to deal with exactly what I'm going through. "You have to see your future," the choreographer, Mia Michaels, remarks. "You can't just sit in what's comfortable; you have to go on and keep challenging yourself."
I hope that my future holds such light.
Robert Browning wrote:
Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith, “A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”
What do you do when you don't want to let go, when changes approach that you aren't ready to face? How do you accept the Lord's will and go forward with faith?
For now, I'm turning to one of my favorite talks and giving myself some sweet ol' time, knowing that eventually I will see the whole God has planned for me.