Annie Henrie, Streams of Mercy, 2010, Found here |
I am learning a lesson in forgiveness right now, a lesson that is oh, so hard. As a child, I thought I had mastered this skill because I could easily get over playground drama and childish arguments. But when you've given your best to someone and they don't even try to see past your shortcomings - that is when forgiveness becomes so much harder.
This journey feels like a roller coaster. I descend as I worry and stew and grow angry over the wrongs that have been done to me. At rock bottom, I realize that I need to do better, and ask for God's help. I've been amazed at how He helps me, lifts me higher, fills my heart with His understanding and His love.
But inevitably, I grow angry again. I used to think forgiveness was a one-time thing, but now I am discovering that it is a long and tiring struggle.
In those moments when I am down and weary, here are three things I turn to for the inspiration to turn my heart to God and try again to forgive.
1. This video
2. Rudyard Kipling's "If"
"If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools"
3. The words of Corrie Ten Boom
"It is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world's healing hinges, but His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself."
I think I may have a hunch as to who/what you are referring too (Or maybe not at all), but I think forgiveness is such a hard topic to truly grasp and understand. It's hard, especially when both parties in the situation may feel that they are more justified in their thinking and feelings than the other person, when in reality, we may never know the entirety of the situation. Forgiveness is one of those things that takes an eternity to perfect, but I think someone as Christ-like as you is probably a little bit closer than the rest of us. It's so hard when you feel like you've done your best, yet the person who may have offended you can't help but see the negative of the situation. Keep being the wonderful person you are and remember, Heavenly Father forgives us for everything we are willing to repent of, and he knows the whole story--we should do the same. You're awesome Tasha!
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