French Fashion, Feminism, the Priesthood, and my Opinions on All

Today in my Women in French Art and Culture class, we talked about designer Jeanne Lanvin. I just love her feminine, whimsical dresses and especially her mother-daughter ensembles. Don't you?

The artist herself.

My professor credited Lanvin for the invention of the rosettes we pin in our hair and on our dresses. Can you see why?

Check out these mother-daughter images - I think they're so sweet. I love how she often she represents women as mothers and her insistence that motherhood and fashion can go together.

 

Watch out for the scary cat!

For the same class, we were assigned to read the last chapter of Simone de Beauvoir's The Second Sex, arguably the most important piece of feminist literature in the Western World. Reading Feminist theory is difficult for me; the mixing of truths, untruths, negativity, and general hatred towards men turns my brain to jelly. I do not enjoy the debasement of men any more than I enjoy the debasement of my own sex. Somewhere in that chapter, Beauvoir wrote, 

"We have seen that it is possible to avoid the temptations of sadism and masochism when the two partners recognize each other as equals; if both the man and the woman have a little modesty and some generosity, ideas of victory and defeat are abolished; the act of love becomes a free exchange" (692).

If men and women are to be "equal partners," as the Proclamation on the Family suggests, both men and women need to see each other as such. Men do not only need to honor and respect women, but women need to do the same for men. Man-hating, backbiting, criticizing, and proclaiming that one "doesn't need a man" can have not a place in our lives if we are striving to end sexism and work together as one. 

Some in the Church claim that only men hold the Priesthood because they are inherently less virtuous or righteous than women. I find this argument degrading, depressing, and out of line with the loving nature of our Heavenly Father. 

I believe that the Priesthood is not just a power but a responsibility and an opportunity to serve as Christ did, and thus become like Him. I believe that motherhood/womanhood are the same things - opportunities to serve as Christ did and become like Him. These offices involve different skills and different assignments, but their purpose and their promised blessings are just the same. 

As a mother, a woman gives life to a physical body and maintains it through daily care. She teaches, encourages, uplifts, comforts, counsels, and bears testimony. She serves the needy, cares for the sick, and clothes the naked. Most importantly, she leads her flock to make covenants with the Lord through sacred ordinances. Through this service, she finds joy, fulfillment, and exaltation.

As a Priesthood holder, a man gives life to a spiritual body and maintains it through daily care. He teaches, encourages, uplifts, comforts, counsels, and bears testimony. He serves the needy, cares for the sick, and clothes the naked. Most importantly, he leads his flock to make covenants with the Lord through sacred ordinances. Through this service, he finds joy, fulfillment, and exaltation. 

Both men's and women's are important, Holy, and necessary for our salvation. Why should one sex and their foreordained role be heralded as better than the other? Every single one of us needs the blessings we receive from women and men. 

Michèle Le Dœuff wrote that, "a feminist is a woman who does not allow anyone to think in her place," and I try to live up to this definition. I also believe that a feminist should be someone who understands the pain of injustice and does not wish that pain upon anyone else. Therefore, a feminist should not belittle men, but honor them in righteousness and work with them to create a better, happier world.

Someone is having a birthday...

I'm so lucky to wake up to this face every morning!
(Well, he's usually not this exuberant or this scruffy...
but you know what I mean.)

Today is my sweetheart's birthday. Yes - my darlin', my honey pie, my pickle breath - he is 27 today. 

To celebrate, we are going to the temple, snuggling up together in front of a movie, and I am going to attempt to make him an apple pie. (Thankfully, his sister Melinda will be helping me, so I shouldn't set anything on fire this time.)


I will spare you another mushy post listing all of the reasons why I love him, because heaven knows you have all had to read far too many of those in the past couple of months. I'll just give you a picture instead.

I love you, honey. Like, a whole stinkin' lot. I'm so glad we get to be together forever. 

What I've Learned in my Two Weeks of Being Married

 

Since I am now so wise in the ways of matrimony, I decided to bless you all with my wisdom.

(Please tell me that you caught the sarcasm in that).

But seriously, there are a couple things I wish someone would've told me when I was engaged, and I'm hoping my experience can help some of you out there. 

1. If possible, make sure you have about a week for a honeymoon. 2 1/2 days is NOT enough. 

2. Your wedding day is very exhausting. Unless you are superwoman, you should schedule some time for a nap in between the wedding and the reception, or even hold the reception the night before the wedding. We arrived at the temple at 9 am and didn't leave until about 3:30 pm. By the end of the day, we were wiped out.

3. You may be called upon to give a little speech at your wedding luncheon, so be prepared. I had no notice and gave a short, flimsy, sniffley, sorry little tribute to my wonderful husband that certainly did not do him justice. If you prepare some eloquent words in advance, your guests will not leave wondering how you ever graduated from high school with such poor rhetoric.

4. I highly recommend the Premarital Health Class at the BYU health center. It taught me everything I needed to know in an uplifting, non-intimidating way. It prepared us to talk about intimacy and helped me overcome my fears and anxieties. It's just one more reason why I love BYU soooooo much. 

5. Make sure you get pictures of the guests in candid moments. The day goes by so quickly, and it's so sweet to look through our pictures and see the little moments we didn't catch. I love seeing photos of our family and friends showing such love and devotion for each other and feeling the overwhelming love of that day all over again.

6. It's very likely that you will receive 3 or more crock pots as wedding presents, even if you do create a registry. Be prepared to return them/regift them/sell them on ebay.

6 1/2.  If you like camping and the outdoors, you should register at REI. You won't regret it.

7. From the beginning, make family prayer and scripture study a habit. It helps unite you as a couple with each other and the Lord. I think this quote says it best:

“I know of no other practice that will have so salutary an effect upon your lives as will the practice of kneeling together in prayer....The little storms that seem to afflict every marriage become of small consequence while kneeling before the Lord and addressing him as a suppliant son and daughter. Your daily conversations with him will bring peace into your hearts and a joy into your lives that can come from no other source. Your companionship will sweeten through the years. Your love will strengthen. Your appreciation one for another will grow.Your children will be blessed with a sense of security that comes of living in a home where dwells the Spirit of God. They will know and love parents who respect one another, and a spirit of respect will grow in their own hearts. They will experience the security of kind words quietly spoken. They will be sheltered by a father and mother who, living honestly with God, live honestly with one another and with their fellowmen. They will mature with a sense of appreciation, having heard their parents in prayer express gratitude for blessings great and small. They will grow with faith in the living God.” -President Gordon B. Hinckley, "Cornerstones of a Happy Home" 

8. Be patient with yourselves in the first couple weeks of marriage. It's tiring to adjust to a new way of life (not to mention sleeping with someone else in your bed). Don't try to take on too much. Make sure to put each other first. The piles of boxes can wait; your spouse really is more important than unpacking.

9. Focus the day on the temple. It is really the highlight of your wedding day, and in many ways the highlight of your lives. Commit to return often so you can learn. It's impossible to soak it all in at once, and even sweeter with the experience time and repetition gives you.

10. Marriage really is so wonderful. It's beautiful to be so united with your best friend and sweetheart, and to work with them towards building an eternal family. If you work at it, your love will grow stronger every day, and you will find the greatest joy you can experience in this life. 

 

"Marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person." -President Spencer W. Kimball  

My Little Brother is Growing Up.

Ten years ago today, my sweet brother was born. He was due on the last day of February, and when he didn't come I prayed that the baby would be born the next day. And he did. It was pretty exciting for a ten year old's prayer to be answered in such an exciting way. 

I remember waiting all day for him to come, fidgeting my way through school and my afternoon homework, anxiously waiting for the time when we could go to the hospital to see my mom. We were in the room at 10:44 pm when my brother came into this world - and what a special experience that was. 

James made our family complete. He is a very unique and special spirit. He has my father's calm, gentle spirit and my mother's ridiculous sense of humor. He has a strong testimony of the Gospel and is constantly looking for ways to serve. Even in his preschool days, he was always willing to share and compromise with his peers, just because he wanted them to be happy. 

James has always been my little buddy. It has been a joy to be his older sister and somewhat of a second mom. I love reading to him, playing checkers with him, talking on the phone with him, snuggling up with him while watching a movie, listening to the songs he makes up, and just being in his presence. He makes me want to be a better person. He amazes me with his creativity, his humility, his goodness. He is truly an angel on earth.  

I can't believe that he is becoming a little man, and in just three more years he will be a teenager! I don't worry too much about him though, for I'm sure he will be the sweetest teenage boy the world has ever known. I can tell that my brother is going to do amazing things in his life, and I look forward to watching them unfold. 

Happy birthday, sweet boy! We all love you so dearly. 

The wedding

was absolutely wonderful. I wish I had time to write about it now - the beautiful spirit of the temple ceremony, the joy of having all of my loved ones gathered around me, the way my heart jumped when I looked into sweet Brandon's eyes and the sealer pronounced us as husband and wife for all eternity, the gorgeous reception, and most of all, the sweet love I witnessed everyone sharing with each other that day. It was truly heavenly. 

Someday when we finish unpacking and taking midterms, I'll write more. But for now, just look at the pictures our sweet friend Jennifer voluntarily took. I think they express the day much better than my words ever could. 

And for everyone who has showered their love upon us, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Why I'm Getting Married in the Temple: The Doctrine of Eternal Marriage

Image found here.

It is difficult for those outside the Mormon faith to understand our marriage customs - why we are so anxious to get married and start our families, why our marriage ceremony takes place inside a temple that only authorized members of the Church may enter. I hope to help explain why we do these things and share the beautiful truths I have learned about the covenant of marriage. 


The temple is a place where very special, sacred ordinances take place. In order to enter, one must be willing to make very big promises, commitments to change one's lifestyle and fully dedicate oneself to the Lord. The temple is not a secret - we want everyone to attend, but we do not want anyone to promise to keep these big commitments unless they are truly ready to consecrate themselves to God. 


The most important and sacred of these promises is the marriage covenant. We believe that this ordinance is necessary to enter into the highest degree of glory in the Celestial Kingdom. Most people view marriage as a contract - an agreement between two or more parties for the doing or not doing of something specified. 
Marriages that take place in the temple are covenants, or promises between the individuals and God. The terms are specified by Heavenly Father, and if we keep our commitments, He has promised to pour out blessings upon us. This means that when challenges arise, we cannot run away because we do not like the contract any more, but we are accountable to keep our promises to God and our spouse. One of the blessings promised in the marriage covenant is being sealed to our spouses and our children for time and all eternity. This means that death is not the end of family life, but that our relationships can continue forever.

LDS marriage is very focused on the family. We believe that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth still applies, and when we enter into the sacred marriage covenant we commit to bear children and raise families unto the Lord. We believe that having children is a sacred privilege, and that family relationships teach us how to become more like our Savior, Jesus Christ. We believe that families are essential to God's plan, and that they have the potential to bring us a fullness of joy. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints provides us not only with the ordinances that allow our families to be together forever, but teaches how to treat each other so that we actually want to spend eternity together. (The Family: A Proclamation to the World goes into more detail about this.)


We believe that temple ordinances, especially the temple sealing, are necessary for exaltation. Through the ratification of sacred ordinances and the sanctification of keeping our covenants with God, we can someday be perfected through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and live with Heavenly Father again, enjoying all the blessings He has. 


Can you see now why I have always dreamed of getting married in the temple? The promise of being sealed to the man I love the most for time and all eternity, of having our future children sealed to us as well, of having God directly involved in our marriage, of someday being able to return home to Him and receive all of the joy and goodness that He has - these promises are so, so beautiful. I still feel like I can barely comprehend them, and I am so amazed that Heavenly Father would offer such blessings to me. 


One of my friends remarked that my fiancé and I seem to have reached "fairy-tale levels of happiness," and I would have to agree. Our parents, church leaders, and prophets have taught us how to serve and love one another, and on Friday we will enter the Holy Temple and be sealed to one another forever and ever. The best part is that because we are committing to love one another as perfectly and unselfishly as God loves us, the joy and love that we feel now will continually grow through all eternity. There is nothing greater than knowing that as wonderful as it is right now, the best is still yet to be.  

"Some think of happiness as a glamorous life of ease, luxury, and constant thrills; but true marriage is based on a happiness which is more than that, one which comes from giving, serving, sharing, sacrificing, and selflessness." - President Spencer W. Kimball


“The whole subject of the marriage relation is not in my reach, nor in any other man’s reach on this earth. It is without beginning of days or end of years; it is a hard matter to reach. We can tell some things with regard to it; it lays the foundation for worlds, for angels, and for the Gods; for intelligent beings to be crowned with glory, immortality, and eternal lives. In fact, it is the thread which runs from the beginning to the end of the holy Gospel of Salvation—of the Gospel of the Son of God; it is from eternity to eternity.” -Brigham Young

How grateful I am to be able to embark on this wonderful journey with a wonderful man who loves me so sweetly and is my very best friend - and how even more grateful I am for my Savior, Jesus Christ, who has made this joy possible.

My Valentine

10 reasons why I am so glad I get to have Brandon Moon as my valentine today and forevermore:

1. He makes me laugh every day.

2. He loves me despite my ridiculousness and even joins in!

3. He makes these cute little faces:

4.  He likes hiking and camping.

5. He's not afraid to get sassy.

6. He can jump really high. I mean, look at that! He's so awesome!

7. He reads me stories.

8. He plays Bey-blades with my brother and is such an attentive uncle. He is so sweet with children.

Us with his niece Adri who asked for a new aunt and helped bring us together. Read the full story here.

9. He fits in so well with my family and loves them as if they were his own. 

10. He loves me so sweetly, unconditionally, and unselfishly. He is constantly looking for ways to serve me and lift me up. He enables me to be my best self and brings me the greatest joy I've ever known.

Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetheart! I am so excited to spend time and all eternity with you.

Love Languages

A friend posted this on her blog today, and I thought it would be fun to compare my results to Brandon's - plus, I always like knowing how I can better show my appreciation for my sweetie pie. 

Brandon's results:

5 Words of Affirmation
11 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
8 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch

My results:

9 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
6 Acts of Service
5 Physical Touch

How interesting is that? We so similarly, and for both of us quality time is crazy high (12 is the highest score possible). We also found it interesting that we both scored 0 on receiving gifts. My mom is really good at leaving little notes and presents to make us feel special, and from her example I have gained a love of doing the same. So why is it that neither of us feel that it is important for us? Maybe it's just that after all of our influences, it's really up to us to define our own love language. It's a fun journey that I love taking with my wonderful almost-husband.

Enjoy the quiz and have a happy Valentine's day!

When you're getting married in 8 days, this is just what you need to hear:

Image found here.

"Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!...


"Patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls. Or, to use another translation of the Greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls. Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most. This was true in the time of the Savior. It is true in our time as well, for we are commanded in these latter days to 'continue in patience until ye are perfected.'


"To paraphrase the Psalmist of old, if we wait patiently for the Lord, He will incline unto us. He will hear our cries. He will bring us out of a horrible pit and set our feet upon a solid rock. He will put a new song in our mouths, and we will praise our God. Many around us will see it, and they will trust in the Lord.

"My dear brethren, the work of patience boils down to this: keep the commandments; trust in God, our Heavenly Father; serve Him with meekness and Christlike love; exercise faith and hope in the Savior; and never give up. The lessons we learn from patience will cultivate our character, lift our lives, and heighten our happiness. They will help us to become worthy priesthood bearers and faithful disciples of our Master, Jesus Christ." 

-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Continue in Patience"

Thanks President Uchtdorf. 

My eternal family

"The proclamation teaches that 'successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.' In other words, the Lord measures the success of a family by the quality of its relationships. In a home where faith, love, and forgiveness are dominant, members find joy and satisfaction in being together. Ideally the father presides in love and righteousness, provides the necessities of life, and protects the family while the mother is primarily responsible for the nurturing of the children. In contrast, the world often measures family success by the accumulation of worldly things and the size of the estate that is passed on to the children." - Elder Merrill J. Bateman, "The Eternal Family"

How grateful I am for my quality family relationships. They bring me the greatest joy I've ever known.